This Agression Will Not Stand

I swear, my former company (or perhaps, I should say, the mega-conglomerate that ate it) are a bunch of bumbling, scruffy-looking, sand-baggin' SOB's. And I've never even met them in person.

I rant because I am no longer tied to the corporate teat, and my current job is not threatened by what I have to say about the cowboys. But they are all vicious bastards, as HST would say. Dam the torpedoes!

A friend of mine was given a promotion this week. New phone number, new desk, new salary, new responsibilities. Kudos for her. She's also one of the best reporters I know, and a damn good columnist as well. Before the day was over, she was informed that the cowboys had 'eliminated the position.' After she had told all her sources goodbye, thanks for all the fish. After she had probably strutted around the newsroom like a 10-year-old on Pop Rocks who just got the complete Sweatin' to the Oldies dvdboxset for her birthday.

Has the whole world gone crazy?

Fine. If my friends keep getting dicked over by corporate Texas, I propose a new plan - we shall form a media empire of our own. We shall single-handedly put out publication after publication, thumbing our nose at ridiculous people from the South and their poor business practices, and we shall make them (like so many tourists before them) wish they'd never set foot in Ohio. Oh yeah, and all the writers/editors will pull down 100K a year. With a sweet 401k.

"Remember back to your early teachings. 'All who gain power are afraid to lose it.' Even the Jedi."

"The Jedi use their power for good."

"Good is a point of view, Anakin. The Sith and the Jedi are similar in almost every way, including their quest for greater power."

"The Sith rely on their passion for their strength. They think inward, only about themselves."

"And the Jedi don't? The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural."

"Is it possible to learn this power?"

"Not from a Jedi."